When you found your special someone, the two of you just seemed to click right away. Maybe you did not like the exact same things – one of you adores sports of all kinds while the other snoozes through every football game – but that did not seem to be an impediment to your relationship. Your future as a couple looked bright.
The years went by. The kids grew up and are long gone from the nest. You both might be thinking about retirement. Married life has become tedious, predictable and hum-drum. The lack of common interests that never was a problem now looms as a troubling wedge between the two of you. You feel bored and isolated from your spouse.
Can your marital union weather this crisis?
First, you need to know what the red flags are for a marriage that has gotten stale and uninspiring:
- Trust between the two of you has dwindled markedly.
- You are not as attentive to each other’s needs anymore.
- You no longer “get” each other intuitively the way you used to.
- You are both on different wavelengths. Communication is a chore.
- Your intimate moments have become dwindled noticeably.
What is the answer?
What works for each couple to bring them closer together again may differ. Discussing the rift is important. Bring up the issue in a non-accusatory, compassionate, neutral way. Ask how your spouse feels about it and what they want to do to strengthen the relationship.
Do things jointly. Make time if both of you are occupied. There are so many things to partake of as a couple, like exercising, walking, traveling, cooking or a casual date night.
The bonds that once united you as a couple are too frayed to repair
The two of you tried to heal your marriage but you still feel like strangers to each other. At some point, you will have to decide whether to stay in the relationship and persist in working on it or divorce and start anew.