Getting a divorce is as overwhelming as figuring out whether to get married. It will affect you and your partner in countless ways, good and bad, forever. If you have kids, it certainly impacts them as well.
Untying the knot is every bit as consequential as tying it. That is one reason why people sometimes teeter on the brink of divorcing for what seems like ages without actually taking that final step. Writing about this subject, one expert mentioned “the fog of indecision.” It can feel as if you have lost your sense of emotional direction and are just stumbling around aimlessly without a clear purpose. That’s not a comfortable situation to be in.
Why do people hesitate to start the divorce process?
Maybe you are torn because memories of the happy times you shared with your spouse are constantly flooding back. You think if you just hold on to your marriage just a little longer, things will straighten out and be fine again. Sometimes, that kind of thinking is merely an understandable reluctance to face the facts. Possibly you fret that once you set the wheels in motion for a divorce, you will be filled with excruciating regret and a tidal wave of sorrow.
Seeking the best path forward
There is no universal answer for every couple about when and if they should end their marriage. Every marriage is unique, just as every pair of spouses is unique. You can ask yourselves some questions that might give you both some insight into what to do next.
- Did we give marital counseling a whole-hearted try?
- Is single life imaginable for each of us?
- If nothing improves and we stay married, is that a life we each can live with?
- Did we truly strive to rescue our marriage before calling it quits?
Don’t cling to the past just because you fear the future
You may find that once you make the decision to divorce, there is a welcome feeling of liberation. Talking to a professional about the divorce process and how it works might eliminate some of your questions and concerns.